Black Ghost

Wow, that was a very persuasive essay that really would make anyone who hates the Harry Potter books feel really dumb.

What do I have to do to get reviews? Beg? please can anyone give me feed back on this!!

I don't know, I wrote just as a short story and I really don't see myself writing anymore of it. But who knows? I might pick it up at another ...

come on!!! can anyone please give me some feedback on this, please? I need something to make this better!!

Very good short story. It kept me reading the entire time and I loved the ending. Really good Job!! -Tony

As the nurse walked off, Molly laid her head beside Joe's waist, hoping to get a little shut-eye. That's when she felt her son's hand move within hers'. Her head ...

sheesh, you don't have to read it if you don't want to.........I just felt bored and wanted to write something dumb, so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. and xanthan gum, drink some laughter ...

Beautiful poem, and It had a pretty good rhythem *Jesus is smiling down on you

Thanxs alot Snoink! Your comments were very helpful. I completely changed this chapter and now it is MUCH, MUCH, better. -Tony

Thanks alot, I took out all the "thens" (i can't believe I used them that much) and changed the ending. I will have to work on the description though.

Thank you I'm glad you like it.

First of all thank you all for the comments. After reading them I feel that this and ch. before it need some revising. I will rewrite the last few ch. ...

I'm not saying that, I am saying that it was the gunman's INTENTION to do that. I'm not saying who lived or died. Max may have died, or not.......who knows? ...

Ok, I will fix that thing about the rage and then calmness part. That kind of seemed akward to me too. Ok and good question about the kicking. You see ...

You, know I think you are right, I should just combine it with this chapter since it is all one event. Thanx!